Brujería and Boundaries: Loving Yourself Fiercely in a World That Demands Too Much
This is for the caregivers, the empaths, the advocates, activists, and community builders.
The world has a way of pulling at us, demanding our time, energy, and attention until we’re stretched thin. We’re taught that being a good person means saying “yes” even when we want to say “no.” That love means overextending, that care means self-sacrifice. But what if I told you that saying “no” is a sacred act? That honoring yourself—your time, your spirit, your peace—is not only necessary but revolutionary?
Self-love, real self-love, is not just bubble baths and affirmations. It is accountability. It is setting limits. It is choosing yourself, even when it feels uncomfortable. As bell hooks wrote, “Genuine love is rarely an emotional space where needs are instantly gratified. To know love we must surrender our attachment to false security and take the risk of being present and vulnerable.”
love isn’t about pleasing others at our own expense. It’s about being present, setting limits, and embracing the discomfort that sometimes comes with standing in our truth. Sometimes, being present and vulnerable means realizing you’ve been giving too much. It means recognizing when your energy is being drained—whether by people, obligations, or even your own patterns. This is where brujería comes in. Our spiritual practices are not just about manifesting abundance or calling in blessings—they are also about protection, sovereignty, and self-respect.
Boundaries Are Spiritual Work
There is deep magic in saying, “I will no longer allow this.”
Ancestral healing teaches us that many of the cycles we break today were wounds carried by those before us. Maybe your mother gave too much. Maybe your grandmother put herself last. Maybe the women in your lineage were taught that love meant swallowing their own needs whole. But you? You have the power to stop the pattern.
Setting boundaries is not just about personal comfort; it is about spiritual alignment. Every time you say “no” to what drains you, you are saying “yes” to the life your ancestors dreamed for you. You are reinforcing the idea that you are worthy of rest, of peace, of reciprocity.
Spiritual Tools for Energetic Protection
Brujería gives us tangible ways to fortify our boundaries, and one of the most powerful ways to do this is through spiritual cleansing and protection work. Here are some tools to help you stand firm in your power:
🌿 Spiritual Baths – A simple yet potent way to cleanse your energy is through a spiritual bath. Use herbs like rue, basil, and rosemary to wash away energetic debris and reset your spirit. If you’re feeling drained and need a boost—after some rest and a cleanse—you can create a reenergizing bath. You can use invigorating ingredients like orange or lemon peel for vitality, joy, and clarity and cinnamon for warmth and motivation.
🕯 Candle Work: Light a white candle for clarity, a black candle for protection, and a blue candle for peace. Dress them with oils and herbs to set clear intentions around your boundaries.
📖 Affirmations & Incantations – Words carry power. Speak protection over yourself daily:
"My energy is sacred. My boundaries are strong. I am worthy of reciprocity and respect."
Saying No is an Act of Love
The next time someone asks for more than you can give, I want you to pause. To check in with yourself. To ask, Do I have the capacity for this? Is this aligned with my highest good? And if the answer is no, then let it be no—without guilt, without justification.
Love is not just about giving; it is about knowing when to stop giving. It is about choosing yourself, fiercely and unapologetically.
Your ancestors stand behind you as you break this cycle of self-sacrificing, over-giving, and pouring from an empty cup—reminding you that your worth is not measured by how much you endure, but by how deeply you honor yourself.
Sending you lots of love and Bendiciones,
Ash
